Is it an essence? Is it innate? Is it learned???
All of the above!
Your essence relates to your ‘inner style’ … your preferences, how you wear something and the confidence you radiate as you enter a room.
It’s innate because you know exactly what works for you, what goes with what and the colors that will make you stand out in the best possible way.
And it’s learned because we’re continually evolving in our bodies, in our lives and, of course, in our style. As my dad always told my brother’s and I: ‘you’re not finished with your own project.’ I may have been a teenager at the time, but it still seems true.
As we grow into our bodies and confidence, our style evolves. It becomes a more true representation of ourselves. Not just what we think it should be or what the trends dictate.
Not to mention that even those who seem to be BORN stylish really had to learn somewhere. And that may just have been a very stylish mom they were lucky to have! Of course, even if your mom wasn’t the Jackie O of the neighborhood, she still had valuable lessons to share with you.
It is through the evolution and process of learning about yourself and your style that your style becomes innate and an essence.
And it all starts with mom!
Some of the most valuable style lessons I learned from my mom (and grandma):
Don’t leave the house without your earrings. Though I had to provide a compelling argument to convince my mom to get my ears pierced before I was 13 (the first attempt at age 5 didn’t go so well) and I so desperately wanted them, I still wouldn’t wear earrings regularly. Now, of course, I see the value in always wearing earrings – even if it’s the only accessory you wear. They add color and sparkle right next to your face to enhance your complexion and complete your outfit.
Black and Brown worn together is very sophisticated. When I was younger, I was SO adamant that you couldn’t wear black and brown together. To the point that if I was wearing brown shoes and didn’t have a brown bag, I would carry a brown makeup bag as a purse!! Eventually, I started playing with this combination and now I love it! It IS sophisticated. Another supposed ‘no-no’ color combo that I love is Black and Navy. Tres Chic (and slimming!).
Silver and Gold mixed is very French. If you know me, I’m quite the francophile, so when my Grandma (also a francophile) shared this with me it didn’t take much convincing! And of course it makes sense. Leave it to the French to toss aside ‘rules’ and mix silver and gold because, really, who cares? If you like it, do it!
Pull it together. Both my mom and my grandma have always been very particular about their appearance and it definitely rubbed off. Even my workout clothes coordinate! I just can’t help it. But what it comes down to is that when I put in the effort to pull together a look (including accessories), no matter how simple or the occasion, I feel more confident and poised.
Have a Signature. My grandma is always in stylish separates, her good walking shoes (even her walking shoes are stylish!) and some statement accessories. She has the best collection of costume jewelry! My mom loves red which is so appropriate for her personality, so she wears a lot of it. Not a lot of people can get away with red and even I don’t wear it that often. I do, however, adore a bright blue.
Confidence is Key. Who hasn’t felt awkward from time to time? I’ve definitely had my moments. And when that happens, I just slap a smile on my face and stand a bit taller. A little confidence goes a long way in having a memorable presence. Maybe that’s why Mom was always telling you to strand up straight?? 😉
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned and carry forward with me. What about you? What has your mom taught you that has helped shape your style? I would love to know… and so would the rest of the U*styled community … so, please share your lessons with the rest of us!